To make a P. Long story short (hey, that’s the name of the website), here’s a summary of my life up until I wrote this.

I grew up in North Carolina, lived in Boston, San Diego, and Orange County, but now live outside Los Angeles. The California one. Not the Los Angeles in Texas or Puerto Rico. There are also facts about me that aren’t based on geography, but I've been told those facts are somehow less exciting than the geography ones. So lower your expectations for these upcoming paragraphs.

I got a Psychology degree from Harvard in Boston, where I kicked field goals on the football team. Oh no. I wrote “Boston.” That sort of makes it a geography-based fact. I said I wasn’t doing any more of those. I'd ask the court to strike that fact from the record. Objection! Overruled! Sustained. I do not have a law degree.

I also do not have a sense of smell. Never had one. It’s called “congenital anosmia.” So if you want to hire me for any olfactory-forward jobs, do it anyway. Please. I need the health insurance. I drink too much spoiled milk.

For jobs, I'm a writer, editor, and all-around marketer. For fun, I do all those same things but for no pay. I’ve been doing them for pay for over 10 years. I wrote all of the words in-house for a credit card consolidation fintech startup and then a global HR software company. Go to Words, Videos, or Sounds for examples of work I did for them. Or go to Resume to learn more about those companies.

Now, back to things about me. It’s time for the paragraph where, like most About Pages, I compliment myself and my skills but pretend it’s someone else doing it. Incoming third-person switcheroo:

Patrick Long is a talented writer, editor, and marketer. At least that’s what most everyone he’s worked with has said. They’ve also said things like, “can adapt to any corporate voice,” “creates copy that converts and converses,” and “a real delight to work with.” His wife, who also happens to be one of his former bosses, once said, “You were always a good writer, but you’re like a good editor now too.” This was so sweet it made him cry. And he’ll make you cry too, but in the “for joy” way because his copy is so good. That was a convoluted sentence, but what do I know? I’m not a writer, just an independent third party describing Patrick with no stake in his success. He’s the one who writes and executes marketing material that stands out while speaking directly to your customers. But he’s not just a copy executor — even though he kills it — he also creates positioning strategies, manages freelancers, stages events, builds campaigns, optimizes for accessibility and SEO/AEO, and so very much more. Anything you need that’s marketing or marketing adjacent, he’s done it, and he’s done it well.

Wow! Thank you for those kind words, independent third-party, who we all agree was definitely not me.

So that's about it. I write that as if this was a short About Page. Anyway, it was great to meet you. I know I only talked about myself, and you couldn't get a word in edgewise, but I feel like we made a real, human connection. It's early, but want to move in together?

Call me.