To make a Long story short, here’s a summary of my life up until I wrote this.

I grew up in North Carolina, lived in Boston and San Diego, but now live in Los Angeles. The California one. Not the Los Angeles in Texas or Puerto Rico. There are also facts about me not based on geography, which I've been told are even less exciting than the geography ones.

I got a Psychology degree from Harvard in Boston where I was a 4-year starting field goal kicker. But that's slightly a geography-based fact because of the Boston thing, so it shouldn't count. I'd ask that it be stricken from the record. Objection! Overruled! Sustained.

For work, I'm a writer, editor, copywriter, and just all around pilkunnussija. For fun, I do those same things but for no pay. Like when I make silly “choose your own adventure” games. They're fun. Well at least for me. If you like having seemingly arbitrary choices lead to your untimely fictional demise, then you'll love them too. Bring the whole family.

I’m a congenital anosmic, which means three things:

1. I was born without the sense of smell.
2. I have drunk my fair share of spoiled milk.
3. Fires and gas leaks are my mortal enemies.

No one knows why I don’t have a sense of smell, least of all me. But besides difficulties deciding between deodorants and having to answer the question, "But, like, can you taste?" a lot (I can), life's been fine.

The pictures sandwiching this About Me and from various places around the site show what I look like. Not currently, because they aren’t live streams, but in the past.

Oh no, looks like I’m getting the wrap-it-up signal. Why did I waste so much time talking about my nose? What else? What else? Hmmm, I guess, Lightning Round?

Lightning Round!

• Dislikes nail files
• Likes hotdogs
• Dislikes birds as pets (let them fly!)
• Likes learning new words
• Dislikes pandas
• Likes telling people why I dislike pandas
• Dislikes lightning rounds
• Likes when they’re over

So that's about it. I’m sure I’m forgetting something important, but it’s not like I can’t come back and edit this later.

Anyway, it was great to meet you. I know I only talked about myself and you couldn't get a word in edgewise, but I feel like we made a real, human connection. It's early, but want to move in together?

Call me.